Dress: hand-me-down from a friend, Slip: Urban Outfitters $15, Heels: Bandolino previously owned for 3 years, Necklace: vintage via my Nonnie
In addition to my hair being an absolute disaster of a mess of fly-aways, there’s another reason that I’ve been so absent on the blog as of late.
I was having dinner with a good friend the other night and we were having a conversation about life’s general direction, when I looked up at her and said, “You know what? I’m angry. I’m actually really pissed off and life’s not super great right now and I don’t feel like pretending that it isn’t.” And you know… what’s really the use of venting on here? It was much better to vent to my dear friend, who let me blow off some steam. We threw out joke after joke after joke until I could see the humor in my life once again.
On the other hand, there’s a lot of relief in being honest. When you’re honest, there’s no pressure to pretend.
And truthfully? I wrote this post almost two years ago. And now forgiveness and I… we are face to face once more. As much as I want to scream, “YOU?! BUT I DEALT WITH YOU TWO YEARS AGO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE?!” there’s a lot of lessons that I’ll be forced to revisit again and again over the course of my life.
So yah, I’ve been angry. And in the interest of not saying anything if I don’t have anything nice to say, I’ve kept quiet. I piped down until I could see (AGAIN) that anger really has a way of making you absent, not only from your blog but from your present moment, it separates you from others, until finally you exhaust yourself and start to forgive.
Every time I find myself trapped in one of those never ending fits of anger, I’ve been thanking whoever or whatever it’s directed at instead. Thank you for teaching me patience. Thank you for helping me learn more about myself. Thank you for helping define what I want. Thank you for the lessons I have yet to learn from this.
I’ve been going to yoga and dedicating the intention and peacefulness of the class to whatever form my anger happens to be taking that day. I’d love to tell you that this is a 100% catch-all solution. It’s not. I do this begrudgingly. My tactic is super slow-going, but it helps and it is MUCH better than the simmering burn of rage that was consuming so many of my days.
All of this has very little to do with my outfit, aside from the fact that I felt the need to post SOMETHING. I’m still here after all. And conversations with good friends and hand-me-down dresses from other friends are a good enough reason to feel grateful and start forgiving and move on with your life.
Total cost of the outfit = $15 (!!!)
Remaining “new” budget for 2014 = $305
Remaining “vintage/secondhand” budget for 2014 = $492
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