Concert Tee: St. Vincent show $25, Rockstar Jeans: Old Navy $25 on sale, Wedges: Spotted Moth $33 on sale, Bracelets: vintage via my great aunt, Snake Ring: Charlotte Russe $4, Black Ring: gift
So I’ve been having myself a nice, little vacation. But now it’s time to get down to it and get some work done.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past couple of weeks. And I’ve made a decision, which might seem perfectly logical to some but feels incredibly huge and life-changing to me (i.e. terrifying).
For the past year and a half, on nights when I got home from work and on weekends, I’ve been cracking away on a book. Progress has been somewhat slow, but I took heart in watching the pages accumulate because it has always been my secret dream (by which I mean the one that really and truly mattered, the one that I would have regretted in old age had I not accomplished it) to write an honest-to-goodness book.
I cannot overstate the importance of fiction in my life. Being a reader is so much a part of who I am, it’s written into my DNA. I swear.
So here’s the decision. I have decided that I’ll use this little “sabbatical” (AHEM) to focus on being not a reader but a writer and work on my book. Not even necessarily to finish it because let’s not set ourselves up for failure here, but just to see if I can really cover some ground. To see what I can do. To see if I can sit in a chair and devote myself to writing for the majority of my day.
Here’s the thing. Although I’ll be working, I have no idea if I will ever see any financial dividends from the time that I am putting in. Also, let’s face it, I have no idea if what I am writing is any good. It could be the most boring thing on earth. While I trust my taste with other people’s work, looking at your words is a much more tricky situation. You have to rely on the goodwill of friends and a sort of blind faith in the tiny voice in your head that says, “Do it. DO IT. Do it. DDDOOO IT.” I’ve drowned that voice out for a very, VERY long time. Now I have a chance to listen to it… I should take it.
One of my writing mentors says that you should never tell anyone when you are working on anything because what if you don’t finish it? But here’s the thing about me. I have this habit of publicly shaming myself into completing projects and abiding to rules. (Um, hence this Tumblr.) It’s not the most healthy form of motivation and yes, I should probably discuss it with my therapist, but IT WORKS. So don’t worry. This will not become a forum for which I discuss “my progress” because GROSS. I’m hoping not to mention it again.
This post is a bit selfish in that I am putting it out there to literally shame myself into being like, “YOU TOLD PEOPLE. NOW YOU HAVE TO DO IT.” Hopefully it’ll work.
So anyway, this week I begin the time period where I focus on writing. So I needed to wear a mini-pomadour and an Annie Clark shirt and red lipstick and some kick ass cheetah booties because those are OBVIOUSLY necessary on the day where you’re making either one of the best or worst decisions of your life. DUH.
Here’s to uncertainty, folks.
Total cost of the outfit = $87
Remaining “new” budget for 2014 = $492
Remaining “vintage/secondhand” budget for 2014 = $537
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